On the ground, in the air...

Brief journeys - impressions of Toronto

“Before the real city could be seen it had to be imagined, the way rumours and tall tales were a kind of charting.”

Michael Ondaatje, In the Skin of a Lion

~ Peonies and rain showers.
~ Geese. Of the Canadian variety, of course. Bronze and feathered, both.
~ Rest and restoration. Good sleep, warm hospitality, leisurely pace.
~ Walks and chats. Lots of that...
~ Waterfalls and sunlight create magic in the sky.
~ Love, and a wander down memory lane.
~ Iconic skyline.
~ Did I mention the Peonies? Never, ever, seen so many.
~ A beach, a far horizon and a big sky. Some of my favourite things.

♥

Five minute lovely list

Right now I'm enjoying:

~ Taking 5 minutes...

~ Early cherries from Turkey - I love, love, love cherries and they have such a short season. I am at risk of over-indulging.

~ Intermittent sunshine. I wouldn't exactly call it Summer but there have been glimpses.

~ Four wheels on suitcases. Have I mentioned this? Changed my travelling life, bearing in mind that when I'm not on planes I'm mostly on public transport and always my own porter. Seriously, who would have thought those two extra wheels would make such a difference?! Revolutionary!

~ Six days in a row working from home to look forward to. Sleeping in my own bed... what a pleasure.

♥

Sea, tea and St Ives

This is what this little jaunt looked like... I think I could live here.

I'm certainly tempted to go back in future for some of this. Inspired by this. And this. And this. It was incredible. SO much art.

And just a short drive away, one of the most breath-taking theatre venues ever.

And if you happen to be in town, I highly recommend the lemon meringue tart and banana&honey&cinnamon breakfast smoothie here (they'll teach you to surf too). And anything, absolutely anything, on the menu here. Just about every place in town (well certainly those we tried) serves wonderful fresh food and has beautiful views.

You know, there's a lot to be said for the barter system - I enjoyed all this and some really good company in exchange for a bit of coaching, some writing and an already-and-unconditionally-given truckload of moral support. I think my lovely friend got the short end of the deal here. But I'm thankful. It was great. And I'm thinking barter may be the way to go... it doesn't feel like work. It feels like love.

In the meantime

It has been about a month since I returned to the UK. A long month. A short month. Strange how elastic time feels for me at the moment.

I went away to find space. And I did. Both internally and externally, there was expansion. As a result, so much has changed. Is changing. I'm still processing a lot of this but it's fair to say that as my sabbatical draws to an end, things have been set in motion that mean life-after-sabbatical will be very different. I'm trusting that it will be better, fuller, richer - in all the ways that are important to me - but I know that it will certainly be much harder before that is true.

In the meantime, life continues, not quite normal and yet, in some ways, very. It's good to be back in familiar space and I need to be here to make the changes and make them stick. But it's not all a good thing. It's been disturbing and unpleasant to feel the tug back into the sludgier aspects of the everyday I left behind.

There are many reasons for this and I was naive to think it would not happen. Actually, I didn't think about it at all. It did not occur to me. That was a mistake. I've realised that it will be a project in itself to preserve the clarity. To deal with the practicalities whilst keeping a sense of the possible. To hold the space and, at the same time, narrow the focus. And to do it alone.

Escaping the city with a friend, even for a few short days, has helped. She too is going through some significant personal and professional changes and needed some space and support. So we went south. To the sea. We walked, we talked, we plotted and planned. We ate good food, we soaked in the art and we breathed in the salt. We stared at the horizon and we watched the gulls dive and soar against a deep and very unBritishlyblue sky, which showed itself on more than one day in three, something that I took as a sign in itself. We worked together in the sunshine to draft ideas for her projects into something slightly more concrete. It was good.

As for me... I sat there, with my toes in the sand and the sun on my shoulders and I was reminded not to let go. Not to let the fear overcome me. To keep hold of my heart and to maintain the momentum. However hard it gets... in the meantime.

Today...

The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can.

Mike Dooley

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

Steve Jobs

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Carl Sandburg

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

J. B. Priestly

The beginner’s humility and openness lead to exploration. Exploration leads to accomplishment. All of it begins at the beginning, with the first small and scary step.

Julia Cameron

... it starts!

Skywards

Only from the heart can you touch the sky.

Rumi

When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.

Buddha

Look at your feet. You are standing in the sky. When we think of the sky, we tend to look up, but the sky actually begins at the earth.

Diane Ackerman

We've enjoyed an unseasonably warm and sunny spell and I was lucky enough to travel north for a few days recently to visit with friends and see some local sights. It was a great weekend with perfect Spring weather. And because it was such a beautiful colour, I kept feeling the compulsion to point my camera at the sky - everything looks so lovely against a bright blue canvas.

You know how we all have things that are personally symbolic - motifs that are meaningful, images or items we're drawn to, totems even? Some of mine are horses, seahorses, butterflies, spirals, the ocean, compasses, swings... and skies. I love skies. I often look to the sky because it connects me, from my feet here, to the feet of my loved ones, wherever they are in the world. I love skies. Especially huge, moody, low-horizon, continent-connecting skies. I cannot resist a good sky. 

One of the things I miss most living in the UK is the African sky. Not just the colour of it, which is different, and the smell of it, which is different, but the scale of it. It's indescribable really. In the cities here, like cities everywhere of course, it becomes just a sliver, a brief glimpse, when one looks straight up or out along a road or a river. But even in the countryside or at the coast here the geography carves it up into beautiful but smaller chunks. Draws the horizon in. At its most expansive, it feels not just narrower, shorter, but shallower too.  Maybe it's something to do with curve of the earth at this distance from the equator, maybe it's just my perception of it but I look forward to standing in a humungous African sky for a while again soon. A sky that is vast - feels endlessly high and wide and deep. My head needs the space. My lungs need the space. My wings need the space.

In the meantime, I am soaking up what's available. Looking skywards often. And when it's blue, it feels bigger. So much bigger.

P.S. if you're interested to find out more about where these pictures were taken, click on each of them for a link...

Beautiful ice...

...in the blue and white light of an early morning.

It makes the 'up and out' worthwhile.

Crystalline thoughts...

Every piece of the universe,

even the tiniest little snow crystal,

matters somehow.

I have a place in the pattern,

and so do you...

T.A. Barron

(1952)

I choose to believe this, even when it's not entirely clear how, or obvious where that place is. It's as close as I come to faith.

Love is a promise...

..., love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.

John Lennon

(1940-1980)

It's been quite sad around here for the past few weeks and as far as my brother's concerned, we aren't quite through the crisis yet. He's slightly more stable now though and being well taken care of and although he's not much better, he's also no worse, so we see that as reason to be optimistic. Thank you for all the caring wishes and positive thoughts. Please know that although I haven't been around here much, I am reading and taking to heart every kind word, passing them on to my family, and am so thankful for them. For you. 

I'm struck this weekend by how even in sad times there are so many reasons to be thankful and sometimes even to celebrate. A year ago I stood beside two of my sweetest friends as they declared their love for each other and we celebrated that declaration with a beautiful, traditional wedding party. I can hardly believe a year has passed already but it has, and today I congratulate them on their first anniversary with wishes of love and a traditional gift to mark the occasion - of paper.  Well, of mostly paper. 

I've long wanted to try making one of these little tag collections and this gave me an opportunity to do so. The tags are tiny, not much more than an inch high and I'd intended to do twelve but, in the end, nine worked better. On them I compiled a small collage of things from the wedding day, including a few picture transfers, pieces of paper embellishment from the table decor, pressed flowers from the bouquets, shells from the beach, snippets of ribbon and fabric and other bits and bobs. The photograph is not the greatest (a combination of rushing and bad lighting - sorry) but this is how it turned out. 

It's been good for me to have something so positive to focus my attention on this weekend and it gave me pleasure to recall the joy of the occasion and to lose myself for a couple of hours in something creative, to escape the gnawing anxiety of the past few weeks even briefly. It's hardly an artistic masterpiece and I don't anticipate it'll become a family heirloom but I'm hoping it will serve as a reminder to them, for a little while at least, of the happiness of the day and the happiness they are wished in all the days to come...

They're away right now enjoying a romantic weekend break so I'll be giving it to them tomorrow when we meet for an after-work glass of bubbly. I do hope they like it.  I'll let you know.

And I hope that wherever you are and whatever you are up to, you are having a relaxing and love-filled weekend too.

♥ K

It's a blue sky day

I thank you God for this most amazing day,

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees,

and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural,

which is infinite, which is yes.

e.e. cummings

(1894-1962)

There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky;

there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul.

Victor Hugo

(1802-1885)

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simplest things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.

Eleanora Duse

(1858-1924)

Amazing what a difference a bit of blue sky can make to how I feel. It always strikes me. And today the sky is blue, blue, blue.

Wishing you a happy blue sky Monday too!
♥

Colour week - it's a rainbow 'round here

The true harvest of my life is intangible - a little star dust caught, 

a portion of the rainbow I have clutched.

Henry David Thoreau

(1817-1862)

When I daydream about my perfect home it broadly includes a white, light-drenched space with a small lush garden and an ocean view. More often than not it's decorated with lots of natural materials in light neutrals, accented with rich but subtle colours. Strange then that I find myself living in a city-centre apartment, without even a tiny balcony let alone a garden, a view of a city skyline, not a lot of natural light, and decorated in quite dark neutrals and bright jewel colours. And I'm happy here. What both have in common I guess is that they are calm and peaceful spaces that reflect the things and the people I love. If I were living in my dream home I would have posted whites today. But what I see around me is a rainbow. And living in a rainbow is not such a bad place to be.

~ several years ago now I moved to the Eternal City to live for a few years and whilst there I met a kindred-spirit, someone who showed me the ropes, shared her days with me, and gave me some of my happiest and most enduring memories of the place. I had no idea at the time how profoundly this meeting would impact on my life. She and her husband returned to Canada, I went to France and then came to the UK but we remain friends, joined at the heart across the distance. Joined at the heart I like to believe, like the city where we met, eternally. Even at a distance she enriches my life, loves and supports me unconditionally and gifts me with her thoughtfulness and a warm deep wisdom, always when I need it most.  She has also given me some of the things I treasure most and love to have around my home, including this incredible glass colour wheel, made especially for me. When it catches the light, I think of her and the creativity that runs in her veins and the love that she embodies. And it makes me smile. Thank you E.

~ we've already visited my bookshelves once this week and I return to this one now because it's a rainbow of colour and content. My book collection is vast and eclectic. I love books. I enjoy electronic media but I hope we never ever move away entirely from books made of paper and ink. Books that we hold in our hands, that we keep on shelves, that we revisit like good friends for years and years. Those who love books will get this. Those who don't will not. Let's just leave it at that.

~ last night a friend turned thirty and we celebrated with a party where everyone was required to wear a wacky wig. Fancy dress for heads. It was fun - great fun. This gift bag, hanging on my living room door was waiting to leave for the party... where, like it, there was a swirl of rainbow colour and style. I love to wear a party wig and I think that every opportunity to do so should be taken. Wig-wearing releases the alter-egos of people, usually their bolder, sparklier sides, and I love to observe those at play. Mine was red, very bright red, and curly and big. Very big. I was channelling someone who might have hung out with Dolly Parton in her big hair heyday and it was fab. Perhaps I'll model it for red day of our next colour week.

~ There's something magical about a kaleidoscope, isn't there? I'd like to collect them and so far I have two. More than one is a collection, right? This tiny one, a souvenir from a visit to science museum, offers up a rainbow both inside and out. It always makes me smiley.

~ today's breakfast. Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day to eat out - love it - but I'm not always very good about eating it at home. I know that's not good, so since I've moved I'm trying to make an effort to do so more regularly and one of the ways I find makes it easier for me to stick to this resolution is to make it up on a little tray. This morning I started my day with some red berry tea, cereal with milk and a sparkling blue sky - perfect.

And that rounds up colour week. I've enjoyed having the opportunity to look for the colourful comfort and sparkle in my living space. It's interesting to see one's own world through the lens with this kind of emphasis. It's shown me things and made me think about them as I might not otherwise have done. And it's given me something positive and creative to focus my attention on, which is always a good thing and just what I needed. Like Thoreau, I realise that the true harvest of my life to-date is intangible but that the things that surround me remind me of these, and facilitate the creation of them too - love, friendship, fun, learning, contentment... happiness. A rainbow of beauty and emotion. Thank you to lovely Lisa who initiated and hosted our colour explorations and to everyone who popped by to say hello, and who shared the beauty of colour in their worlds for our enjoyment. It has been a pleasure.

A happy, rainbow-filled weekend to you!

Colour week - turquoise brings the beauty of the ocean home to me

Blue, or what I think of as my blue because I have almost no true blue in my personal space, is turquoise - all shades from palest aqua through richest teal. It's one of my three favourite colours and one that never fails to make me calm and happy - the colour of the ocean in all its moods. I have a distinct memory of one of the first times I was encouraged to choose my own clothes whilst out shopping with my mother, who bravely allowed me to have anything I fancied on this occasion. My choices included two pairs of corduroy dungarees - one in deep purple and the other in a lively teal - stylish! Fortunately I outgrew my dungaree love but the colours are still those that I choose today. And the ocean blues overflow into my living space too. In my flat I found many turquoise bits that capture the comfort or sparkle factor I'm seeking out during this colour week. I've chosen just a few...

~ my new quilt as a backdrop for my baby macbook - I love my bed and can spend hours here given half a chance, reading, or blogging, or browsing the net, and of course, sleeping - it is and always has been my most comfortable spot. The computer is essential to my comfort too - a link to the family of my heart, all across the world. I never thought it possible to be so attached to a piece of technology but I do love this little machine and at the end of this week it's having to go in for some repairs 'cause the casing's cracked (hence the tape) from just too much travel and use, which is making me a bit blue.

~ I love how the blinds bend the sunshine and create patterns of light and shadow on this little windowsill collection. The vases are two of my favourites, pretty even when they're empty, and although I'm not really a figurine person, my sister bought me this tiny girl with the blue birds (appropriately called happiness) and I do feel she beautifully captures a moment of joy. I think it's almost impossible to stand in that way, with arms outstretched, palms up and head slightly tilted back and not feel something positive. Try it and see. Or is it just me?

~ glass, plastic, polished wood, silver, mother-of-pearl, agate, crystal - just a tiny selection of the many sparkly bits I have hanging in my bedroom where even when I'm not wearing them, they bring me pleasure. 

~ the glow of candles is essential to my comfort at home and this one in my hallway smells subtly of a summer's day at the beach - gorgeous. The teal framed print in the background is one of my favourite Degas pastels, the original of which I was lucky enough to see in an exhibition some years ago. I'm not sure she's going to live there permanently but that's where she landed on unpacking and she seems happy enough at the moment.

~ A tiny beaded angel dressed in blue, bought in Cape Town at a city centre gallery I went to with my very dear friend, M, when I was last in South Africa. She (the angel that is, not M) hangs on the pinboard in my kitchen and recalls that lovely day, along with souvenirs of other cities I've called home and friends far away. In this shot a ubiquitous Roman fountain and a postcard of Paris - reminders of beautiful places and the beautiful people I met there and who are still in my life, adding comfort and sparkle through their friendship even at a distance.

Can't wait to see what the other lovely colour seekers are offering today in the way of beautiful blues. Have a look at Lisa's sidebar if you'd like a peek too. 

And have yourself a very lovely Tuesday!

Blue sky wishes

The top photograph I took yesterday morning and the bottom one, my sister took a while ago. I always think of her when I see these wispy wings in the sky. Today, I'm thinking of her.

And today, into the beautiful blue sky that we share, I'm sending up a wish... to make another wish come true. I need my new passport to arrive this week or I will not be attending this. Something I have been looking forward to for almost a year.

It's not something I can control and I have not given up hope but I'm sending up a wish nevertheless... there's no harm in it, is there?

What are you wishing for this week?

Whatever it is, I hope it comes true.

And I'm wishing for you, a very happy Monday!

♥