Flying high on no

In the end the decision was not such a difficult one to make. My heart knew all along what was right for me. It took my head a fraction longer to acknowledge it. To ignore the shout of conditioned response and listen to the whisper of personal truth. And the hardest part was actually saying it out loud: "thanks, but no thanks." 

At one point I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it - to confound expectations. To explain that I have nothing to prove to myself, or to them, because this is something I've already achieved and found less than satisfying. That just because I can, doesn't mean I should. That preserving my integrity is more important to me now than accepting that we must always be striving for more, moving up the hierarchy, shouldering additional responsibility, no matter what we sacrifice to do so. That an opportunity also presents the choice not to take it. And that, sometimes, that's the right thing to do.

It's surprisingly hard to say.

But I did it. I said it: No.

And when I did, something in me opened its wings and took flight. And it's still flying high. No regrets.