...doesn't mean I want to.
Integrity poses the questions
I have been offered the opportunity of a new role that I am supposed to be excited by.
Honoured to accept.
I've successfully held similar roles in the past and I'm confident that I could do it and do it well.
And the expectation definitely exists that I will accept the challenge and embrace the responsibility and be thrilled to do so. That I should do so. That there is no question.
But...
My experience is also what made me walk away from this in the past. And what tells me that it will be very stressful. Not well supported. Not challenging in a good, stretch-and-grow way. Not rewarding in any sense except for being able to say that I could and that I did. That I did what was expected - that I succumbed to the should...
So what do I do? And how do I do it?
I've been asked to consider it but I also know that option's been presented as a rhetorical question and that it will reflect badly on me to turn it down. And I'm struggling with how to explain my answer and how to say the words: Thank you but no thank you.
I know what my heart's answer to this question is.
Just because I can, doesn't mean I want to.
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11 comments:
I have been in a somewhat similar position before and said no, and I'm happy I did. Although the person in question interpreted it as me avoiding taking on challenges & responsibility, I knew for myself that where it mattered, I have taken on huge challenges and responsibility in my life, but doing it in a work-related scenario, especially one which I was not passionate about, made no sense to me at all. I think go with your gut. If you don't really want to do it, then don't! In the (many!)cases in my life where I took on something because I thought it was expected of me, I ended up being very unhappy and stressed.
I totally agree with anairam. because it's expected is not a good reason to accept. take some time and weigh your options...is there any reason to believe that this role has changed since you last held it? the answer will come to you (if it hasn't already) and it will be the right answer for you.
p.s. tiny b is the buddha representing 'faith'. have faith that you know or will know the right answer. (all the little guys are available at urban outfitters and you can find them online...they're called pocket buddhas.)
Oh yes- we have all had to learn to say "no" - it is so difficult BUT after it is said it is like flying! You must trust your "NO" to be what your bigger self is saying- you can trust it especially if it makes you feel sort of ill to NOT say "NO"..
"no" is good.
The great part about this is that you know what your decision is! As far as how to explain it to other people goes.....I've always believed that anything can be communicated if words are thoughtfully chosen and carefully put together. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself, and your reasons behind your decision are so valid....so don't worry too much. Good luck!
All the best for a peaceful decision that sits well in your own boundaries!
I was just thinking of this - this whole thing of staying true to yourself.
I'm in a similar position - in that I need to get back to someone that has asked me to do a little publicity for something that is such a worthy cause, but it isn't something I have any passion or love for. At all. I've been approached in the past and have said no. They've approached again and I'm not sure of what to do. And then I came upon your blog post.
Hmmm... I think staying true to oneself and listening to that small voice inside us that always knows what's best is the way we ought to go. That doesn't make the decision easy though.
Thinking of you...
then don't.
it might seem blunt but i find that this is often the only way to uncomplicate the very situation that creates unnecessary complication without you asking for it.
be true to your sixth sense.
Not so long ago someone said, "I think what it boils down to is that everything I believe and say and do should be consistent." and "...if I compromise, it's myself I short-change..."
what caring advice form this group of bloggers K,
follow your
heart
mind
soul
on this one
ELK
You guys are incredible. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your support - so thoughtful, so heartfelt, so welcome - really helps. I have until Friday to consider my options on this. I think I know what my answer will be but I do not want to rush it.
Integrity is my compass. You are my amazing companions on this journey. A girl could not wish for better. Thank you.
That's a tough one. But if your heart knows the answer (and if it's not fear speaking - I cannot always tell the difference for myself) then go with your gut. There comes a time in our lives where going with our gut is the only way to go. Why? Because we can. And who knows where saying "No" might lead you, what other doors it will open for you, what new paths it will make visible ... Good luck!
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