...to reach the light.
In the next couple of days I face tackling some things that have been in storage for a very long time. Boxes of stuff - household goods, photographs, personal effects - that represent a life that is no longer mine and yet, a life that is indelibly part of me. Twenty plus years of my adult existence. My history.
I have been avoiding it because I know that it is not going to be an easy task. I have been avoiding it because although this stuff is not the history, and my history is not who I am, personal things inevitably trigger memories, not all of which I have been able or ready to look at before.
But now, I think the time has come. I do not relish the task. I have no doubt that it will be hard. That it will be painful. But I have climbed mountains before. And the view from the top, the quality of the light, the taste of the air up there has always made it worthwhile, and left me feeling light enough to fly.
I would like now to be light enough to fly.
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12 comments:
Good for you. You are so brave!
an early spring cleaning for your soul! :)
good luck dear (and do something good for yourself when you are done)...
Oh, I feel your pain. Having gone through something similar all I can say is that you not only will get to the top and enjoy the light, you will find this to be a truly cathartic exercise. Very liberating once done, both emotionally and spacewise.
Sending you lots of warm thoughts and hugs :) Kxo
Kenda your brave heart is beautiful. I wish that I could photogrpah my minds perspective of your journey so that you are able to see an outside perspective on your progress.
Chryssalis, rebirth... I am witness to this beautiful process!
Good luck, hope it all goes well xx
Kendalee- wish i could help you- I love going through other people's stuff and hearing the stories and handing over wads of tissue to collect face drips...My stuff, however, remains in a storage unit. Have been paying for it for about 21 years!! I do not have the gumption yet to sort it out- there is not enough prozac in the world that would allow me to do so...It's worth it to me to just pay for the storage unit- that's the sort of wimp I am! So, good on you, dear Kendalee- I will be thinging about you and your liberation!
About a month ago I went through a whole lot of boxes and traveled back in time for a few days. While we're not our past our past has had a hand in shaping us, so it's sometimes good and sometimes painful to go back.
I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I wish you well. Climbing mountains can take a lot of work, but the reward will be worth it.
I may be taking this too literally but it tickled me: when A and I were descending Mt Kinabalu, we came across climbers going up and saw how different each person reacted to the climb. One girl, she muttered to herself " One step, one step, you can do it, one step". She was all puffed but she was calm and had endurance. Down the mountain a bit, a girl with her bf was also climbing up but she was saying and whining "Ohhhhhhhhh my god, I can't make it, I'm going to die. News headline: Girl falls off Mt Kinabalu" Ohhh my god, this is so hard."
I think our attitude towards something so insurmountable is what makes all the difference. You can do it, one small action at a time.
Hi Kendalee,
Thanks for your kind comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave them and they really help.
I admire your willingness to tackle your pile of memories and I hope it goes well for you. I will visit again and find out!
Nice to meet you,
Sarah
When I feel the need to move on my life or have a new start, I always go back to my storage, my old stuff and even some of the recent ones.
I filter them, get raid of what is not necessary and has been there for ages..clean my place, clear a space
for the coming days.
Wow what a task! But how fun!
Let us know how it goes!
This will be a good decluttering, but, I realize, a painful one. Once your through it though, you WILL feel lighter, Kendalee, although it may take a little time. Keep what needs to be kept, get rid of what needs to be tossed, make space in your head and heart for light and brightness and joy again. I am thinking of you during this exercise, and rooting for you! When you get to the top, you plant a flag, and we will cheer!
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