Easing in...

Normally I give quite a lot of thought to my word for the next year in the months leading up to the end of a year. November, coinciding as it does with the drawing in of the season here in the Northern hemisphere and my Birthday, is usually a time of reflection and introspection and I make a point of thinking about what I'd like in the year to come and how to express that in just one word.

Last year it didn't enter my mind. 2013 was a busy year. A very busy year. I was so wrapped up in busy-ness that the final quarter of 2013 passed in a blur. Lots and lots of doing, not very much reflecting or introspecting, and hardly anything that didn't have the label "work" or "chore" attached. I produced journals galore, filled to bursting with notes - all work related. Travelled far and wide, for work - my one planned social trip for the end of the year, thwarted by a last minute travel snag. Even my photographs were almost exclusively taken at work, of work, for clients. Frankly, boring. It's true what they say about Jack. I was Jack.

I popped out of the end of this and spun into Christmas and the end of the year and then the start of the new year completely unprepared on all, including the word, fronts. I moved around, I saw people, I came home, I fell ill... the days blurred. I emerged, blinking and it is a week into January. I feel like I am playing catch up.

Just before we stopped for the holidays though, a group of colleagues and I spent an hour of our final meeting together each creating a vision-board collage for the year to come. We did it in the time-honoured way... by framing it mentally and then very quickly flicking through a pile of magazines and pulling out images and words, trying not to over-think or consciously choose but to let them choose us, before arranging and gluing them on a poster-board and sharing our initial thoughts on what they represented with each other. I can be a bit of skeptic about some of these "profound" activities being crammed into business meeting agendas but I've found this rapid-fire graphic visioning practice quite useful in the past and was again struck by how powerful a visual technique can be for revealing what words sometimes just don't make as clear on their own. What emerged for me is in the top picture. I was very interested in how they turned out across the group (different motivations and aspirations reflected very clearly in each person's board) and afterwards thought how apt it was that the only picture I'd taken of mine was taken against (and in contrast to) a grotty hotel carpet.

When I finally started to think about my word for 2014 last week, there were several that floated to the fore. Nourish, flourish, bloom, savour, even luxuriate, all tried out. All good words and definitely what I'm hoping for in the year to come but none of them quite right. I think what they collectively suggest is a desire for continued expansion and growth but not in the form of frenetic, hugely challenging, mostly exhausting and often anxiety provoking movement and change (which is what this past year's been all about), but rather a slowing down to allow for something deeper to evolve and something more soul-full and un-rushed to emerge; a gentler pace, inner and outer space to breathe and stretch and feed myself well - literally and metaphorically, simple but abundant pleasures, meaningful connections, calm and confidence and contentment on the inside that matches what I project on the outside. And then it came. The word. Ease.

Ease. Like a sigh.

Like the feeling I always enjoy when I spend time consciously, slowly and deeply, savouring every moment - either alone or alongside loved ones... Ease.

It conjures for me the whisper of wind through grass and trees, the shush of ocean waves on the shore, and the soft scrunch of bare toes on beach sand. Dynamic but gentle: a sense and rhythm of ease.

Wouldn't it be great if I could experience that even in the midst of my everyday everydayness with its ongoing busyness, challenges, grotty hotels carpets and all? So that's what I'll be seeking, learning to create, focussing on establishing....

When I looked it up in the dictionary this is what I found:

Ease [eez]
Noun
1. freedom from labour, pain, or physical annoyance; tranquil rest; comfort
2. freedom from concern, anxiety, or solicitude; a quiet state of mind: to be at ease
3. freedom from difficulty or great effort; facility
4. freedom from financial need; plenty
5. freedom from stiffness, constraint, or formality; unaffectedness: ease of manner

Verb (used with object), eased, eas·ing.
6. to free from anxiety or care
7. to mitigate, lighten, or lessen
8. to release from pressure, tension, or the like
9. to move or shift with great care
10. to render less difficult; facilitate

Synonyms
1. repose, contentment, effortlessness. Ease, comfort refer to a sense of relaxation or of well-being. Ease implies a relaxed condition with an absence of effort or pressure: a life of ease. Comfort suggests a sense of well-being, along with ease, which produces a quiet happiness and contentment. 2. tranquillity, serenity, calmness, peace. 5. naturalness, informality. 6. comfort, relieve, disburden, soothe. 7. alleviate, assuage, allay, abate.

And when I look at my vision board again I see it there too, in so many forms. Calling to me.

Ease. Like a sigh.

Yes, thank you. That will do nicely.

And so the year begins for me. Today. Happy New Year!