Looking through Autumn eyes

These last few months have felt like an ongoing exercise in either running to stand still, or trying to catch up with myself. Actually, I think it's been more than a few months. Given what's been going on in and around my life, this is not all that surprising and I'm not bemoaning the fact, just acknowledging it. Change has left me stagnating where I hoped it would move me on and come with brutal force where I would not have had it visit me at all. In these places of wild transition I've not been so much driving or even navigating my journey as holding on for dear life so's not to fall into the void.  And all round there's not been much sparkle going on. As the end of the year approaches, all too fast, I find I have hardly the energy left to generate a glimmer, let alone a glow. It's been a hard year so far and I stand here, facing another long dark winter, feeling empty and cracked and worn out. 

Much like this little group of objects at the weekend flea market. 

Strange thing is when I look at them, unlike when I look into the mirror of my heart right now, I don't see something devoid of value, discarded and broken. I see rich texture and warm colour and a story of a job well done and rest well-earned and permission granted to lie still and fallow whilst Autumn settles down in preparation for Winter to take her turn. And I see the promise of life still to be had and purpose served anew when the seasons turn again. With a little care, rich soil and spring bulbs, a lick of paint, a dab of oil, a freshly trimmed wick, I see they might retain the goodness wrought by wear and tear and go on to bring new joy. Sparkle even.

Maybe I need to pause, stand properly still for a moment, and then look in the mirror again... with kinder eyes. With Autumn eyes.

P.S. thanks to lovely Lisa for pointing me towards the Autumn colour week going on over at Poppytalk. I do so love a colour week and, conveniently, Monday's colour is green.