Guiding light...

Do you ever have those middle-of-the-night-in-your-sleep moments of insight that wake you up with an "a-ha!" on your lips? They happen to me rarely and I've tried to cultivate the practice of writing them down immediately but, when it happened a couple of weeks ago, I felt sure I'd remember and didn't reach for the notebook next to the bed. It was, after all, just a single word. Of course, the next morning it was gone. Completely gone.

It's become my habit in the month between my Birthday and the New Year to consider my word for the next year... I don't know how others do this but I like not to rush into it. A year's commitment is not to be taken lightly, is it? So, in the lead-up to the date change I think about the things I'm seeking to enhance in my life and create a shortlist of words. I let them simmer in my mind for the month and then, by the start of the new year, I commit to the one that feels most right. But it was this word, THE word, that popped into my sleep-addled brain that night. I knew with a deep certainty that it was The One. Only two problems: it wasn't on my shortlist, and I couldn't remember it the next day. Not at all.

Oh dear.

Oh well.

Back to the shortlist.

For the past few years my guiding words have had in common a certain gravitas: release, restore, balance, integrity. All good, grounding words that have helped me maintain focus and provided me with a touchstone, something I can turn to when I need inspiration or reminding of what is true and sought by my deepest heart. And I'm still working with all of them really - they're a journey that continues. This year I've considered several ideas designed to build on these: deepen, dare, explore, nourish, pause. All things I would like to work with. But none of them jumped out and attached itself to my heart and I was struggling to choose.

And then, last Tuesday morning, I was standing in the shower (another place I have several of my "a-ha!" moments) and it came back to me. The word I'd dreamt about. I recognised it immediately: sparkle. Sparkle. My heart skipped a beat. Yes. Sparkle.

In almost the next breath I dismissed it. Too frivolous. Something good for high days and holidays but surely too trivial for an annual guiding principle. But the whole of that day it rolled around in my head and would not be ignored. Sparkle... something I can do and be and feel and find in the world around me. Something uplifting and inspiring but that allows for a little of the (inevitable) dark as well. It resonated deeply. Perhaps not to be dismissed then. So... in an attempt to be faithful to the word of 2009, integrity - aligning thought and word and deed - I added it to the list.

And, at the point where the commitment needed to happen and the annual wishes be released into the sky, of all of them, it's the one that felt most right, most true, most needed. I decided to trust it, go with it.

Sparkle.

A little every day - frivolity, effervescence and light. Apparently exactly what I require. My dreaming mind and waking heart agree.

spar⋅kle  [spahr-kuhl] verb, -kled, -kling, noun

–verb (used without object)
1. to issue in or as if in little sparks, as fire or light: The candlelight sparkled in the crystal.
2. to emit little sparks, as burning matter: The flames leaped and sparkled.
3. to shine or glisten with little gleams of light, as a brilliant gem; glitter; coruscate.
4. to effervesce, as wine.
5. to be brilliant, lively, or vivacious.

–verb (used with object)
6. to cause to sparkle: moonlight sparkling on the water; pleasure sparkling in her eyes.

–noun
7. a little spark or fiery particle.
8. a sparkling appearance, luster, or play of light.
9. brilliance, liveliness, or vivacity.

[Flickr talent always sparkles - click above to embiggen and enjoy, and here to credit the creators of this loveliness]

p.s. a few people asked about the lanterns we used to send our wishes up at new year... I first experienced this some years ago at a festival in Thailand and was completely enchanted by the idea. I found the lanterns (a slightly smaller version than shown in the video clip) were easily sourced by searching for Khoom Fay sky lanterns and I've bought them from a few different suppliers since. This year I ordered Glo-Lanterns through Amazon and they were perfect!