Midsummer's Eve - an Anniversary

Dawn over the Bay

2008

On Midsummer's Eve 2008, a year ago today, I wrote and hit the [Publish Post] button for the first time. And just so, that easily, the online dance of the Painted Lady began.

I described it then as embarking on a journey and that's how it still feels today - like an adventure. In some ways it seems like just yesterday that I took those first hesitant steps and in others it feels like this is an exploration I've always been on. A journey I was destined to take.

I considered what I was intending for this particular trip then, and on day two I wrote...

What I hope to find as I travel:

• something new that challenges the way I think about and see the world
• beauty and inspiration in many different forms
• a connection to others that transcends the differences between us
• moments and details that embody and define the greater experience
• opportunities for introspection and for outward expression

I don't kid myself that, in the grand scheme, there's very much going on in my little world (online or off) but when I look back at those early thoughts, I feel that it has bought me all that. And more.

And to me, that's significant.

This little space in the blogosphere is mine (perhaps the only time and place that I truly set aside just for me) and it's a space I treasure. Because, as well as a vehicle for exploration, expansion and connection, it has become a haven too - a place to pause and rest. A quiet, gentle, undemanding space to escape to when my real world is too loud and fast and pressurised. A space without boundaries but also just big enough to fit me comfortably. A space that allows me to wonder and reflect and muse out loud (rather than just going 'round and 'round in my head). A space where I can doodle and play with words and pictures and colours (the things that make me smile). A space where I can open my heart and set both happiness and sadness free (and feel that it is safe to do so). A space that expands but also narrows the focus on my viewfinder, inside and outside (and encourages me to document what I find there). And a space where I have found friends.

As a young woman I used to have a recurring, lucid and very vivid dream about a secret house that was built into the side of a cliff overlooking the sea - underground but open to the stars in places with skylights, and completely open to the elements and the horizon along the front. It had an entire wall between the living and dining rooms that was a floor-to-ceiling aquarium and a bathroom in the shape of a spiral, like the inside of a shell, which was also open to the ocean and yet completely private. It was a house I was completely at home in but sometimes I would discover a new room that even I had not known was there before. I would dream of going there most often alone but sometimes I would be joined by people I love, friends and family. Or I'd encounter strangers already there when I arrived and we'd pass time in inspiring conversation, getting to know each other. Or there'd be dream lovers, who were just a blur of sensation and delight. Or, and this was quite often the case, beings that might be half animal would wander in and just be there with me as I looked out at the view or wandered from room to room, silent but known to me as sentient, loving and supportive, in that way that is dream-knowing. I usually knew it was a dream as I was having it but it was such a special place and I would be so happy there. It was beautiful and safe and magical. I have not had that dream for about nine years now. But this space sometimes feels like that space. No dream lovers or animal shape-shifters here but that same sense of contentment. That same delight at encountering kindred spirits who engage, inspire and pass the time with me briefly - some now counted amongst my friendfamily; some quieter presences, no less welcome.

It's weird. I had no idea when I started this post that that's what would come out. In fact, I don't think I've ever told anyone about those dreams in their entirety before. But that's just what happens in this space sometimes - a surprise kink in the path. And I love that about it too.

I don't know what the next stage of the journey might bring. I hope to expand and explore my photography more, maybe even invest in a "proper" camera (instead of the little compact that I use now) and take myself to a course on how to use it. I hope to have more happy days than sad to share. I hope to dream, to begin converting some of those dreams into reality and to document that progress here. I hope to turn some of the virtual friendships, shared across time and space, into real, albeit brief moments shared, in the same time and space...

I don't know if any of these things will come to pass but that's half the fun of a journey like this - waiting to see what I find along the way and allowing for twists and turns I have not anticipated.

Whatever the next phase brings, thank you for sharing the journey thus far. It's been an adventure. It's been a pleasure. I'm so happy to have your company on my dance...

♥