Floating Free February



At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. 
Lao Tzu
(600-531BC)

Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.
Merle Shain
(1935-1989)

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means to me. What I want and what I fear.
Joan Didion 
(1934-)


We are at the end of our NaBloPoMo post-a-day month of considering want and although I admit to looking forward to a slightly more random posting schedule again (I love being able to respond to the blogging muse as and when she moves me, which is not always on a daily basis) it's been an interesting exploration for me.

I really want for very little materially in my life and have so much to be appreciative of. It's been useful, however, to think daily about those things I do still wish for - for myself, for others. Valuable for me to recognise that yearnings, dreams and aspirations, big and small, do still live in parts of my heart that have perhaps been closed or sensitive to inspection for a little while. And enjoyable to explore those here, and to feel so connected and supported by kindred spirits whose presence is felt in this blogosphere, and those that pop in to visit whether they make themselves known to me or not.

This month I also started a process of unravelling, explored through photographic and writing exercises, and tackled a cathartic release from physical and emotional baggage by addressing a pile of stuff that needed to be dealt with.

What I discovered is that there are distances still to be covered, gaps between the emotional life I seek and the space I currently inhabit, and stuff still to be faced and dispersed - it's a process after all - but as I sit here on this final day of February, with my heart slightly bruised and my body aching, I also feel lighter and more buoyant than I have in a long time. 

So where I want to be right now, is right here, where I am, and who I am.

And I'm happy that you're here too.


[Flickr credit]

9 comments:

lisa said...

so happy to be here with you. your words always make me smile and think and cheer for you.

Linda Sue said...

I really love the middle quote by Merle. I also really love that february is OVER! I must thank you for inspiring us all to tackle boxes of mystery clutter- I made some headway and found some old anti depressants that I ate for breakfast. Got me through the rest of February, also with a bit tidier house. I have so enjoyed your frequent posts- Kendalee every day has been delightful! Thank you.

Unknown said...

Thanks for this post!!

Unknown said...

I am sad that I will not be reading your beautiful posts every day but then I will be delighted when they do appear!

As an outsider I have seen so much growth. It has been inspiring to watch. Your last line makes the entire process so worthwhile.

The last quote really speaks to me. It is a very accurate description of the exact reasons why I write.

Sebrina Wilson said...

Happy to be here!! Happy March!
xo Sebrina

in another lifetime said...

I have this feeling lately that everything is going to be just fine, and it is echoed in what you've written here. This post means a lot to me.

Lynne said...

Sounds as though it's all coming together.
It's always good to read your posts.

Anonymous said...

so happy to find you over here - I love this post - you are speaking to all of my many layers - moving through February... I can feel the life budding again - and there is hope for the de-cluttering...

you have inspired me deeply and I thank you

xox -e b.

kendalee said...

Thank you lovelies! You warm my heart and make me smile. That's why I'm happy you're here :)