Flagging, just a little...

...like this balloon.

We both started off full of bounce, it filled with helium, me with energy and enthusiasm. By the end of the party it was soggy from the rain, battered by the wind, had been pecked at by a swan, and was struggling (valiantly I like to think) to float.

As of Monday morning, I have three new starters on my team and I've spent the week inducting and training and guiding and facilitating and bonding with them, as well as trying to do all the usual bits, and at the end of each day, reflect and prepare for the next. This is not a chore. I LOVE it. And I believe it's important. We have a very challenging project to tackle as a team over the next year and I want to give us the best possible chance of working together to achieve it. In order to do that, they need to settle in, find their feet and start running with confidence very quickly. And I need to give them a fair shake at being able to do that by supporting them through this early learning phase (and beyond) in every way I can. I'm happy to do it. But do I find it intense and exhausting? Yes. Do I battle to be speaking to, and anticipating the needs of others, for so many hours a day? Yes. Does my introvert spirit battle to be so constantly outward focussed and engaged? Yes!

Following on from last weekend, which was in some ways similar, my enthusiasm remains intact but my energy is undoubtedly flagging and, at this stage in this particular week, like that balloon, I am finding it hard to float.

I realise as I write that in many ways this is what having children entails and unlike me, parents do not often have the option to turn inward and re-energise at some point. It's an endless commitment of outward focus and care. Again, I find I'm in awe of what they do. And I wonder if I would ever have been able to do it, let alone do it well, as so many of my friends and family manage to. Perhaps not. And so things are as they were meant to be.

Now, I am SO ready for the weekend and a little quiet time. I crave it.

I haven't even given much thought to what I will do but I intend to spend a lot of it alone, catching up quietly with my blog browsing, correspondence, reading, writing, walking, wandering and wondering... Maybe a movie, some gentle music... There will probably be a bit of laundry involved. And perhaps some food too.

But mostly I'm just looking forward to the quiet hours. The truly quiet hours. When even my mind stills somewhat and I am at rest. Not asleep. But at rest.

True silence is the rest of the mind;

it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body,

nourishment and refreshment.

William Penn

(1644-1718)

Wishing you a lovely, re-energising weekend too, whatever form that takes for you.

And a very, very happy Friday!

♥